Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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