It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
