Sponge bath it is.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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