no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
