I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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