I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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