Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
