No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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