There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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