They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
