Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
