Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
