You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
