so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
