I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
