You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize