do herpes really smell.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
