How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I look better un-naked...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
