I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
my poor anus
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize