did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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