I've blown a few things in my day
she pinky promised me she was 18
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
