YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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