did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You can't motorboat a personality
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize