How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
