anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
