They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
