dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
