well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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