I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
