Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
