belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
