I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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