So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Say something about gay babies.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
