Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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