Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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