she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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