She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize