sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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