i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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