Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
