mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
