..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
