So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
