Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
