You can't motorboat a personality
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
