I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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