White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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