Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's shark week go big or go home
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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