butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
