He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
