New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
