is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
