Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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