Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
