You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize