I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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