and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
