happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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