Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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