either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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