it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
