After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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