wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
this is an emotional support booty call
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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