I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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