Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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