some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
