home. puking in laundry basket.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
